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Unfortunately, even with the best intentions, parents can still end up shaming their daughters.Almost two decades after my own mom first attempted to talk to me about my “changing body” (her words, not mine), I still remember how embarrassed I felt. I could tell when my mom was about to bring up puberty, sex, or dating, because her face would get suddenly serious and the mood in the room (or car, where she frequently ambushed me with these talks) would become… I could tell she was about to say something that made her nervous, and knowing that made me nervous.It’s a dismal narrative that casts boys as predators, girls as the objects (and perpetrators) of slut-shaming, and a lot of other kids as witnesses who didn’t step up.And we’ve had too many high-profile versions of this lately. How do we talk to them, in particular, about the aspect of these stories that’s not familiar from our own teenage years—the images that travel via technology and magnify the original incidents?Along those lines, here’s a short video that Craig Stevens, school psychologist at Germantown Friends School (my alma mater), pointed me to.likes to indulge in good old fashioned ~dirty talk~ like yours truly.Then the conversation drifted to the nitty gritty of her love life past and present.She briefly gushed over 21 Savage (“That’s my baby.
But chances are good that your parents — or anyone else who might be doing the work of raising you — want you to be a happy, fulfilled person in all ways.
Teenagers have to be able to stop in the moment and say, ‘That girl who everyone calling a slut, I learned something about who gets called that and how that supports ideas about masculinity and femininity I’m not going to buy into anymore.’ ” That’s the longish version.
There are also various decision points that call out for a media campaign—well-designed public service announcements with slogans pointing kids toward right-thinking actions.
Wiseman is known for her work on girls: Her 2002 book, I understand that reluctance: I haven’t talked to my 13-year-old son about Steubenville or the other cases because parties and alcohol aren’t on his radar yet. There are people who try to dominate and degrade other people, and some boys resonate to that. ” famously captures this dynamic in a scene in which the teacher played by Tina Fey asks a gym full of girls how many of them have been called sluts. That is critically important.” , another classic from 2002, pointed out that in cases where boys and girls dispute whether sex was rape, the community often doubts the girl. “The girls are sluts until the moment they kill themselves—then they’re victims,” she said.
There’s a possibility that you will see something like this in your life. It’s really important to think through your choices beforehand, so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. “The challenge is to help boys and girls understand the politics of slut-shaming and how gender norms lead to gender-based violence.